After 27 years of being told the ultimate lie – ‘I love you’ – please forgive me if I no longer hold those three words in high regard.
Of course I love my children and I tell them I love you as often as I can, but that’s a sacred bond between parent and child, where the love is pure.
As for hearing it from someone I don’t share DNA with? Not so much. Will I ever trust those words from a man again? I won’t know until it happens.
Besides, there are far better ways to tell someone they are important to you. The one that sits on top of my list is ‘please stay.’
Please stay trumps I love you in so many ways.
When you sincerely ask someone to please stay, you are making a choice, not tossing meaningless words out of your mouth.
Please stay implies that when you are here with me, my life is more enjoyable. You matter to me. I enjoy you. I enjoy being with you. You are wanted and I want to be with you.
“Must you go already? Please stay”, to someone who has come to visit you is the best approval rating for their visit you could ever offer them. It tells them you enjoyed their company and you don’t want their visit to end.
“Please stay, you haven’t told me about your ______ yet”, is the subtle praise of your presence and that you are interesting.
Please stay and work this out means right this moment, you are the most important person in my life. We are the most important thing to me at this particular time and space.
Please stay also requests that you share one of your most precious possessions – your time. It’s a gift that is instantly given and received, no wrapping required.
Also, it won’t take you long after telling the wrong people to please stay, out of politeness or obligation, before you learn to use it judiciously. After a few miserable long-lasting encounters you won’t be throwing those words around again anytime soon. Especially on social media, lest you have your best friend’s Grade Two neighbour’s grandmother’s sister-in-law sleeping on your sofa. For six months.
A sincere please stay is about the kindest thing you can say to one another.
When I left on my latest journey, I got lots of ‘I love you’ and ‘going to miss you’ but no one asked me to please stay.
I have a friend who has terminal cancer. There will come a time I can’t ask her to please stay anymore. That’s where the please stay becomes selfish; I’d only be asking her stay to make my life easier, not hers.
When she can no longer stay, all I will have are the memories of her, and at which time I will ask those memories to please stay.
Please stay, forever and a day.
I will know the moment that I have found The One, when after spending many hours together and it’s time for me to leave, he asks, “Do you really have to go? Please stay – shall I order us one more glass of wine?”
I hope I don’t cry.