It takes two people to make a relationship work and only one person to end it.
And I wasn’t the one who ended it. It’s been a rocky two years – maybe more roller coaster than rocky but it certainly hasn’t been my best two years. It wasn’t my choice to start my life over at age 50 and my life decisions lately reflect that I am still not happy about the position I was forced into.
But that’s about to change. I’m choosing to starting over.
Starting over my life, starting over how I’m handling my divorce, starting over with some of the choices I made. Besides, who ever said you have to drag your choices around like a big bag of rocks? ‘Let ‘er go, you never know!’ is much more than just something you shout at a hockey game.
How do you start over? You start over.
When I get off that airplane in Valencia next week, it will be TA-DA! – Single Shanta. Audios, Mrs. Ostafichuk. Hola, Ms. Meeder. I will no longer refer to myself or consider myself still legally married or separated. I will no longer attach the word wife or ex-wife to my name. I will be Just Shanta and if anyone asks about my status, it’s single. I don’t need a signed piece of paper to have peace of mind.
Single Shanta – I like it.
For the first time in my adult life, I’m first on the list, schedule, and care.
I’m going to make mistakes but if I want to forget them, I shall. Is the fear of failing or the fear of the witness reminding us of our mistakes (over and over and over and over…) that petrifies us?
My bad decisions are going to be much more worthwhile. And memorable. And fun.
And ‘NO’ will be my go-to word.
I think I’m off to a great start.