Is This Really Necessary?

Is this really necessary?

Is this really necessary?

This year, the New Year Eve festivities in Paris will be a laser show from and on the Arc de Triomphe.

One Parisan lady, obviously not impressed, expressed her dismay by simply stating, “Is that really necessary?”

My daughter and I both laughed and it has become our touchstone quote throughout our whole Christmas trip to Paris. And it got me wondering, what a fabulous way to live, always asking if something is really necessary.

Think about it – how streamlined and efficient your whole life would be and become, only by using four simple words.

Buying something new? Is it really necessary?

Spending money on frivolity? It is really necessary?

Have someone in your life that is more effort than they are worth? Are they really necessary?

Name brands? Are they really necessary?

The amount of food/snacks you are about to eat? Is that really necessary?

A full cart at Costco? Is that really necessary?

That bottle of supplements? That new exercise fad? That diet book? Are they really necessary?

Adding to your debt? Is that really necessary?

Another glass of wine? Yes.

And so on.

By removing the unnecessary from your life, you allow the necessary more room to be useful, pleasurable, and balanced.

In debt? This question alone will help you magically return to sanity, help you to stop spending, using the extra money to pay down your balance and then to stay out of debt.

Overweight and out of shape? Is it necessary to eat so much, rely on the magic diet/gizmo, taking the escalator/elevator or vehicle everywhere? Even ask yourself if the gym membership is necessary.

Stressed to the max? Is it necessary to work so much, take on so much, get involved so much?

In a bad or one-sided relationship? Is it necessary to keep this person in your life?

House full of stuff and cluttered? Is it necessary to keep buying more? Is it even necessary to keep it all?

Who needs resolutions when you have one guiding question all year around?

Using the “Is this really necessary?” as the first and most important question for everything you do, you will find that when it comes to yearly New Year’s resolutions, they won’t ever be necessary.

How do you start over? You start over.

It takes two people to make a relationship work and only one person to end it.

And I wasn’t the one who ended it. It’s been a rocky two years – maybe more roller coaster than rocky but it certainly hasn’t been my best two years. It wasn’t my choice to start my life over at age 50 and my life decisions lately reflect that I am still not happy about the position I was forced into.

But that’s about to change. I’m choosing to starting over.

Starting over my life, starting over how I’m handling my divorce, starting over with some of the choices I made. Besides, who ever said you have to drag your choices around like a big bag of rocks? ‘Let ‘er go, you never know!’ is much more than just something you shout at a hockey game.

How do you start over? You start over.

When I get off that airplane in Valencia next week, it will be TA-DA! – Single Shanta. Audios, Mrs. Ostafichuk. Hola, Ms. Meeder. I will no longer refer to myself or consider myself still legally married or separated. I will no longer attach the word wife or ex-wife to my name. I will be Just Shanta and if anyone asks about my status, it’s single. I don’t need a signed piece of paper to have peace of mind.

Single Shanta – I like it.

For the first time in my adult life, I’m first on the list, schedule, and care.

I’m going to make mistakes but if I want to forget them, I shall. Is the fear of failing or the fear of the witness reminding us of our mistakes (over and over and over and over…) that petrifies us?

My bad decisions are going to be much more worthwhile. And memorable. And fun.

And ‘NO’ will be my go-to word.

I think I’m off to a great start.